"at the end of the day you can only rely on yourself, you're all you have"
I see this quote (or similar ones) ALL the time on social media. I'm going to be honest and say that I absolutely hate this idea. It couldn't be further from the truth and it discourages relationships.
From the very beginning God intended for humans to live in relationship with one another. You see it in Genesis 2:18 where it says "Then the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."
Now of course we live in a fallen world so sometimes relationships aren't so easy in fact we are SO hard on one other aren't we? So despite what I said above maybe sometimes it's natural to feel that you are the only one you can rely on but ultimately it leads to deception, false hope, and disappointment because honestly we are just as unreliable as anyone else around us.
What we can do instead of pushing others away and putting ourselves first is to seek Him first. You will soon find out that you are not alone. Psalm 120:1 is one of my favorites. It says "In my distress I cried out to the Lord, and he answered me." This is just one of the probably hundreds of examples that shows God ability and willingness to rescue us in our time of need. By putting Him first you will start to see and understand that you are loved, sought after, pursued, and treasured by a perfect love. Now you don't have to put all the pressure on your relationships with flesh you can put all the pressure on God who is not going to disappoint you. In fact God encourages you to put the pressure on Him (1 Peter 5:7) because He cares for you so deeply and He knows that only He alone can satisfy you completely.
So how does this tie into the relationships that we have with other people? Relationships are a gift from God that were given to us to be fully enjoyed but like all gifts from the Lord they need to be stewarded with Christ at the center. John 15:4-5 gives us the perfect example to follow: "Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." When Christ is at your center you bear fruit into your relationships he anoints them and allows them to flourish. There is no pressure because if your spouse or your friend lets you down Jesus is right there to pick you up and at this point not needing a certain person to sustain you isn't a pride thing it's a God thing because you know that he will sustain you no matter what. People don't sustain people, God sustains people.
When you are fully filled by God you are able to love others and give grace during their failures. Spoiler alert: people will let you down. over and over again. it's a vicious cycle. During these failures is the time to really press into Christ and ask for the ability to give grace in each situation. Here's another thing: people don't change people, God changes people. Nothing is more heart transforming than love, kindness, and the pardoning of hurtful actions.
side note: if you are in an abusive relationship either emotionally or physically this does not mean that you have to stay with that person and put up with that kind of abuse. In these situations it is best for you and the other person to get out of the relationship. God will do the healing that needs to take place in each of your lives when you are separated.
Good, healthy relationships, whether they are friendships or romantic, have their ups and downs. We are human so stop putting so much pressure on other humans to be perfect you will only come up short, empty handed, and out of breath. Instead press into the Lord and rely on Him to bless your life and your relationships.
So at the end of the day, no, you are not alone. You have someone walking along side of you who is much more reliable.
I cried out to the Lord, and He answered me!
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