A Letter to My Daughter on Her First Birthday.

Hadessah, 

Where do I even begin?  Ah, maybe I will begin with my disbelief.  I still vividly remember the day they laid you on my chest the moment you were born, like it was yesterday.  It almost feels like I could still reach out and touch your little newborn fingers and toes, so trust me when I say, I can hardly believe you're one.

And what a year it has been.  Every moment with you big or small, messy or wonderful, has been a rich addition to my life and I am forever grateful.  I love the way you light up your father's eyes and the way you make your sister giggle uncontrollably.  I love the way your cheeks form tiny dimples when you smile and your intense curiosity for the world around you.  I love that you look more like your dad then you do me and I love that you have completely taken over your sisters chair in the living room.  It's about time she waves her white flag.  My sweet girl, you are so so special and you have filled the void that our family was missing before your arrival.

I keep going back to a thought I had once your older sister was born.  For months I dreamed of the way she would look and of the personality she would posses and it was the same way with you.  I couldn't stop thinking about you, all the days leading up to your birth.  Oh, your dad and I would stay up late and talk for hours about you, our girl and her arrival.  Would you have blue eyes like me or would they be brown like your dads?  Would your hair be light, dark, curly? And then you were born and like your sister, God's design in you completely surpassed my own and I just know that He created you with a twinkle in His eye.  Yes, you had brown eyes and dark hair like I had imagined but there is just something more about you that goes beyond my realm of thought.  I may not ever be able to put my finger on it but that's ok because I know that I love you so incredibly much and that will always be enough for me.

Hadessah, if you read this someday I encourage you to live your life like this.  I hope you imagine and I hope you dream but that you trust the Lord's design even more.  I pray that you would trust in His plans for you and faithfully walk in the path He has set before you.  Because whatever it is and however excited or reluctant you may feel towards it, just know that it will be the very best thing for your life.  When you surrender your desires to the Lord, in return He will bless you a hundred fold with things that you never even thought possible, just like he blessed me with you. 

So now we're here, to the part where I have to admit that you are growing out of your clothes and slowly losing your baby smell.  Walking is your newest mode of transportation and soon you will be able to do it completely on you own, without my help.  Yes, I have to admit that you're growing and my heart is bursting for what I'm losing but also for what I'm gaining in watching you bloom.

So, Hadessah, as you grow I pray that you would love others fiercely despite the fact that every one of us is far too good at being human, that you would seek the Lord in all that you do, and that you would always, always know that size and age aside you are my little girl.

I am wishing you the sweetest of birthdays, I love you to the moon and back!